losing the fire

sara bareilles bluebird ring

My ring with a favourite lyric inside: "So, here we go bluebird..."

There’s a concept I’ve been mulling over lately. I’ve loosely labelled it “percolation”.

Nothing revolutionary but it’s been on my mind.

The actual time we spend doing the work, delivering the project and measuring it’s success is minimal. Percolation is everything. Percolation at its best results in the most inspired creative breakthroughs. At its worst, self-defeat. Percolation is the most vulnerable stage of development. 

I’m currently in this stage with my album and other music projects. It’s neither here nor there, but it’s somewhere. While I patiently work on building a vision, I run the risk of letting it percolate into obscurity. But I’m confident in my process. It feels like I’m on the brink of something bigger, the moment just isn’t ready yet.

That’s how I came to writing today: the line between obscurity and passive thinking. Here’s where things get personal.

For those of you who know me well, I’m a fairly private person. Sharing guarded elements of my life is not something I’m ever keen on. But for the sake of my point, here goes:

In the past three months I’ve had three guys enter and exit my life quite quickly, leaving various degrees of hurt in their wake. Some hurt more than others (one even reads this blog). This time I was hurt and disappointed, but not just because of him:

I was in danger of losing the fire.

Today I realized it’s very easy to ignore what you need in favour of what you want. It’s also really easy to find a jerk or two in the city. *rimshot*

Percolation is the most vulnerable stage of development. 

Haven’t quite lost the fire yet.

 

 

2 thoughts on “losing the fire

  1. melgallant

    I so agree with you regarding percolation. I get lost in it sometimes. Okay, more than sometimes!

    Keep your fire going. I’ll do the same with mine. :)

    Reply

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