making a big deal out of nothing camh

Stop feeling sorry for yourself

 

Truth: This is hard for me to write. I’m really thankful for the feedback I got from this post, as it encouraged me to continue writing. I also promise to return to my cheerful life updates soon. There’s a lot of good stuff happening, even now! So here it is. Being open is the only way to move forward.

It’s been a whirlwind of a week.

For the past couple days I’ve been dealing with a major anxiety attack and I’ve been struggling to keep it at bay. While the strength of it really rocked me, it is nothing new and I’m proud of my ability to manage it.

But it gets tiring. This time, it really hit me hard.

I know relatively well what triggers my anxiety. As much as I try, sometimes it can’t be avoided. In fact, sometimes it’s tied to things I want and I don’t want to run away even when I’m struggling. This time was almost a perfect storm, little bits of which I’m still trying to figure out. As I progress, I’m learning to not place blame and judgement on others for these triggers or my emotions. I own how I feel.

One of the toughest parts of anxiety is feeling like you don’t want anyone to know. Today I wasn’t doing a great job of that. Unfortunately, the more obvious I feel it is, the harder it gets to function. It kind of feels like shutting down. As a result, anxiety can make you feel very alone.

I reached out to a friend today just to let someone know the truth. It gave my brain a (temporary) place to rest knowing that someone out there knew how I really felt, not how I was pretending (poorly) to feel. It doesn’t make it go away, but it was a way to cope.

While this is an ongoing challenge, there is a positive story to be told: There are people out there who get it. Last week I came across the new ad campaign from CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health.


Reading this is like a sigh of relief. This campaign is brilliant.

  

It’s not like people don’t want to help. I know good friends and family have said these things to me with the best of intentions. Honestly, these are things I often feel myself. It’s easy to feel guilt over having anxiety. I don’t want to feel out of control, so why can’t I just will it away?

Having anxiety can be exhausting. Supporting someone with anxiety can also be exhausting. Thank you to my friends and family for coping along with me.

Anxiety isn’t a weakness or a fault. Tomorrow is another day :)

 

17 thoughts on “Stop feeling sorry for yourself

  1. S7

    I’ve been having anxiety attacks and dipping in and out of depression for months. I turned to Holy Basil as a last ditch effort and it actually keeps me somewhat normal. You can even find it in a cheaper tea form. Thanks for this post. 

    Reply
  2. Kschofieldbass

    My hubby suffers from anxiety and depression and always has. He’s blown away by your candor and your willingness to let others know. As am I. If you ever want to talk Kat, I have a great ear. One thing that works for Terry is that he knows each anxiety will eventually pass. Don’t try to fight it, let it happen. Sit in it. Always think, what’s the worst that can happen if you just let it go thru you. Reflect back on a precious anxiety and look at how you handled it and how it worked out. It doesn’t make you a bad person to feel this way- EVERYONE has bugaboos—–absolutely everyone. You are the one with courage to speak your truth. You’ll just continue to grow and get stronger Kat. Hugs, Kim

    Reply
      1. Marniebrown

        Also … what Kim says!  Totally great advice which echos what a  mental health professional once told me.  Thanks Kim.

        Reply
    1. Marniebrown

      So here I am.  The master of anxiety.  Sometimes I fear I taught my son and daughter my anxious ways.  Sometimes, I try to stop blaming myself and blame it on genetics.  Honestly, I think anxiety is a combo deal.  The triple threat is genetics, learned behaviour and stressful situations.   I find as I get older, I worry less and as a result, my anxiety has diminished significantly.  Uncertainty is always a trigger. But that has also changed.  I am no longer feeling uncertain about romantic relationships or job situations.  Now my anxiety is pretty much focussed on my loved ones.  Are they ok?  Are they happy?  Are they safe?  I find comfort in knowing that my children are smart, able  and very worthy people.  In fact, knowing how worthy you really are is a big thing.  Life may not always go the way you want it to.  In fact, when you paint a picture of how your life should be and it doesn’t turn out that way it can be devastating.  However, what we sometimes miss is the bliss in what happened instead.  And Miss K.  While you must own what you feel, you know that it is not all in your head and and you are so worthy that it scares a lot of people.  Thus life is not always easy ….thats all I’m saying!

      Reply
  3. Kris

    Well, I have coached those near and dear to me through BIG panic attacks. It’s hard to watch so it must be awful to experience. I think CBT can help sometimes – if nothing else, it provides you with a sequence to perform which can help break the spiral. And there are meds which can be a short-term or long-term brain chemical corrector. Like insulin to diabetes. Not fun, Kat, and I am hoping that you find relief soon. Kim’s right – we all have ‘bugaboos’ – as is your Mom – you’re so worthy. Always available to talk if you want to. xo

    Reply
  4. Aellos D

    Kat,  I understand the complex feelings of anxiety as I it to suffered with it ! I very rarely talk about it but after reading your blog I just had too!! There was a time in my life where I was having terrible anxiety attacks……at that time I was told they were panic attacks in my opinion one in the same thing.. I did not get out of my bed for six weeks and I actually believed I was dying from a brain tumour. Your Mother and Uncle David were constantly at the emergency room with me.. On one of my frequent visits I met a very young good looking  Dr. I was in a nightgown not even able to dress and looking desperate he took one look at me and said this is a cycle that has to be broken…easy to say but I realized then that maybe there was some truth in that and there was a light at the end of this dark tunnel! The first time I drove my car it was only two blocks and I had to get out leave it and walk home! I had to take baby steps!!

    Kat we are all so proud of you…not only are you beautiful, talented and sooooooo smart you have incredible inner strength. I believe that there is nothing that you can’t accomplish you have proven that over and over again to the people who love you! You are already on the road to beating this just by talking about it shows how brave and focused you are. Never forget I am always here for you anytime you want to talk or just need someone to listen! TT XO

    Reply
  5. Amanda Burcul

    As someone who has dealt with a lot of the same feelings I’d like you to know that you’re definitely not alone. It’s tough and it sucks. But I hope you always feel comfortable reaching out <3 Cause you're awesome! 

    Reply
    1. Kat Post author

      Thanks Matt! My proudest achievement is knowing I have a strategy to make anxiety a manageable part of my life. I’m very grateful for the support system I have :)

      Reply
  6. G Plaatjes

    Saw excellent commercial @ Cineplex Odeon Queensway before movie last night. thank you for producing that!!! can I get a link to that to post & spread the word?

    Reply

Let me know what you think!